* Physical harm, such as hitting, shoving, or tripping.
* Psychological harm, such as taking money or belongings, making threats, name-calling, or leaving another child out of games or conversations (shunning). Children often are bullied about the way they talk or how they look. Making fun of a child's religion or race occurs less frequently.1
Boys tend to bully one-on-one in both physical and psychological ways. Girls tend to form groups and shun another girl or gossip about her, which can be just as hurtful as any other form of bullying. Children who are bullied are often not able to defend themselves.
Bullying usually occurs on school grounds in areas that are not well-supervised by teachers or other adults, such as playgrounds or bathrooms.
One fight or teasing between two children who are equally matched-such as being about the same size and having about the same number of friends-is not bullying.
Why is it important to stop bullying?
Bullying can lead to serious long-term problems for all children involved. Being bullied can affect a child's self-esteem, which is how a child sees himself or herself. Children who are bullied may fear or lose interest in going to school. Or, they may strike back in extreme and sometimes violent ways. Bullying has been linked to episodes of school violence, some of which have had very serious consequences.
Children who are bullied are at increased risk for depression and other psychological problems. Those who bully others are at increased risk for dropping out of high school, having drug and alcohol problems, and breaking the law.
What are the characteristics of children who bully?
Children who bully may do things without thinking first and may not follow rules. These children are usually not taught to think about the feelings of other people. A child who bullies is often difficult to be around, even for parents, teachers, and other adults.
Children who physically bully others also tend to like violent television shows, movies, and games. They often come from homes where adults fight or hurt each other. These children may even be abused or neglected themselves.
Children who bully need counseling. They can benefit from guided exploration as to why they behave as they do and how they can interact with others in more positive ways. Family counseling has been shown to help reduce anger and improve interpersonal relationships in boys with bullying behavior.2
What are the characteristics of children who are bullied?
Children who are quiet, shy, and have few friends are more likely to be targeted. These children tend to be sensitive and find it hard to stand up for themselves. They may begin to think that they deserve the abuse.
Some children who are bullied will begin to bully others or lash out in unhealthy ways, such as through violence.
What should children do if they are bullied?
Children are often scared and angry when they are bullied. Often, a child who is harassed doesn't know how to respond. You can help your child learn and practice ways to handle bullying. Generally, make sure your child understands the basic "walk, talk, and squawk" strategy for dealing with a bully.3
* Walk away.
* Look the other child in the eye and say, "Leave me alone" or "You don't scare me."
* Tell an adult.
What can adults do to stop bullying?
Help your child to gain confidence and make friends, such as through trying new hobbies or participating in group activities. For example, sports, drama, school clubs, church youth groups, or volunteering may interest your child. Having friends leads to a more positive self-image, which makes your child less likely to be bullied.
Bullying most often occurs on school grounds and tends to be most common in schools where students are not well supervised.3 Make an appointment with the principal or vice principal of your child's school to talk about bullying. Stress the importance of having a zero-tolerance bullying policy. Teachers and school staff should make it clear to all students that bullying is not acceptable. All children should know that those who bully will be punished. Children who are bullied should be supported and protected.
Teachers should discuss the issue openly in class and stress the importance of respect, caring about the feelings of others, and friendship.
